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Edna is the long-lost sister of world-famous nature documentary maker David Attenborough. It’s true that she may not be as famous as him but, as she reaches her 70s, and increasingly doesn’t give a monkeys, is finding her creative voice. She’s certainly not afraid to tackle tricky, controversial topics and, like her brother, just really wants the world to be a better place.

A war-time baby, she’s as tough as old boots and feisty with it. 

Bright and bold in personality, as well as in dress sense. 

Chardonnay Blanco 

Football groupie and social media influencer, Chardonnay is popular, beautiful and confident, a true extravert with a love of red-carpet dos and selfies. She also loves dancing (Justin Beiber in particular) and cocktail parties (she’ll have a Sex on the Beach, always).

But don’t be fooled by the rocks that this girl has got; there is much more to her than may meet the eye. 

She lives in Blanco Towers just outside Manchester and lives quite the life there. 

Greenmamma

Greenmamma has a big heart but, if she keeps worrying like this, she’s going to give herself a heart attack. 

She cares about the planet. Her kids’ education. Saving the whales. Getting rid of plastic. Stopping fast fashion. Starting lots of revolutions. While holding down a full-time job and keeping her household running like clockwork.

In fact, she cares about (and worries about) everything and she’s on every committee from the Parent Teacher’s Association to Greenpeace. 

She rarely treats herself to any time off, or any indulgences, having recently also decided to never buy herself any new clothes for the rest of her life. Luckily she likes knitting and wearing woolly hats, too (though sadly her affluent suburban neighbours don’t think much of her creations and wouldn’t be seen dead in them – or next to her while she is wearing them).

50 Pence

50 Pence is the British 13th cousin twice removed of 50 cents. She uses creativity to channel her anger and angst. 

Edna Attenborough 

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